Eat your hearts out guys!!
Whether or not I'm a hunka hunka burning love is totally irrelevant - whats' important is that I have the most beautiful, feisty, articulate and intelligent ladies in the whole world in our harem. They are also the most loyal and true.
For you outsiders looking in, applications are available at your local Walmart store.

Betty, are you over 30 and under 90? We do have our standards after all. I really love the Margarita tour portrait! You may be a candidate - just make formal application, please. (There are going to be a few vacancies, maybe, due to smart-alecky mouth!) I'll keep you posted.

Chip - you want to be warned. Joanna's husband is known far and wide as the "Snake." Do you really want someone with a nickname of the snake to be sharing a babe thread with you?