August 3

ARCTIC is Cathartic

Long ago, in the land of NORGES (national phrase: “It's not so bad”), fourteen intrepid ARCTIC sailors met in Tromso for a tundra tour on one terrific trawler.

In the same vein of the old saying, “St. Christopher leaves the car at 80,” NORGES has its own version of that rule: 'No Net in Northernmost Norges”. We expect internet interruptus for the 79th+ parallel, about 3 or 4 days in total. Kevlar Kohler is glad I have knock-out cough syrup, as I may need it to also overcome no-net DTs.

The Bittles were the first to arrive, meeting and greeting each ARCTIC companion. First stop was the Verthuas Skarbar, home to the 'all you can eat' fish soup meal deal. The NO BAR TOO FAR challenge began, as that bar only carries beer from the northern most known brewery. Braveheart Bittle and Kevlar Kohler imbibed in appreciation.

Our hotel rooms guaranteed to ease the transition to shipboard life (less than 200 sq feet of living space) and the “24 hour splendid shining sun” conditions. Our hotel hosts remarked 'it's not so bad!' as they continued along their daily life. The suitcase rack cleverly extended from the wall, with about 1/2” clearance to the opened bathroom door. That is efficient use of space design on steroids.

The Webster men opined on the visdom of visiting the Polaria exhibit, complete with a Northern lights slideshow (guaranteed to bring on the much-needed catnap at peak jet lag moments) and the 180 degree overview of Svarbard.

Our fearless leader has alluded to the price of chow in Norges. Anecdotal evidence was noted in the breakfast room. For the low, low price of 50 NOK (that's $8.33 to those of you on the other side of the Atlantic), you too could get a plastic take-away container. Many guests were packing it full of breakfast food, to be enjoyed as their later-in-the-day meal. I didn't check out whether the mini-bar provided room for storing the 'meal deal' or not.

Monday afternoon meant ARCTIC was present and accounted for, 100% of their luggage at their side. 13:45 sharp meant the transport arranged by the Tiara-Toting Tour Leader and her Handsome Husband Hulk Hutyra arrived to ferry us to the ship. Braveheart Bittle and Kevlar Kohler grabbed the perimeter patrol seats, as our driver divided the duffles and stacked the softside suitcases doubly deep along the aisle, saying “see? It's not so bad!” . Marcie, Joanna and Olivia – it brought back memory of the van transfer from VJ7 from Dover to London. How clever they are in the land of NORGES – no air bags or seat belts required – use the items at hand to buffer the riders!

Ten minutes later, we arrived at our home away from home, the Prince Albert II. The crew called out “deck 4 has arrived” as we scurried along to our cabins. Luggage arrived within fifteen minutes, and we set about unearthing the various and sundry places to store one's effects for the duration of the voyage. Lunch was next, followed by the call to the mandatory life drills, followed by expedition staff introductions. Cocktails were served, then dinner. All were ready for an early night's rest.

We reached the Nordkapp area (loose translation: takes a lot of time to look through fog at monument marking northern most point of continental NORGES) at 7 am. Tiara arranged for ARCTIC to occupy a single zodiac. We donned our gear for the initial Zodiac run, circumnavigating the Bird Island sanctuary for Kittywaites, guilletmots, cormorants, gannets, puffins and sea eagles. We returned to a POOCH fest, where the Webster men laid down their gauntlets. Who will take away the POOCH WINNER badge? Stay tuned for further reports. Brayden is a worthy challenger to the title, but Ralph is a worthy champion, dedicated to holding his title.

Lunch and the Cape beckoned. We gaped at the proposed walking trail from the safety of the ship. Your reporter decided to save her typing fingers and instead engaged in REM sleep to better memorialize ARCTIC ANTICS for our collective edification and enjoyment. Half set out on the pioneer's trek to the Nordkapp; the rest set out on the modern trail (18 wheels) to view the film and enjoy the overlook. Kevlar Kohler reported back: “Your instinct was right to strike the hike. It was BRUTAL!” The ARCTIC company who undertook the hike agreed with that assessment. Purple hearts were in plentiful supply. Kevlar Kohler further reported that, upon achieving the pinnacle, a mirage appeared in the distance .. a source of universal movement and connectedness .. yes .. it was

HARLEY DAVIDSONS .. as far as the eye could see .. which meant 2 of them.

He drew closer, as if called to the clan, and the fog unveiled more HARLEY DAVIDSONS .. two or three at a time .. two or three more, and more, and more .. earlier bikes disappearing in the ether behind him. Sturgis, eat your heart out.

The return trip to the ship included the stop at the Sami historical homestead (Lapplanders to all of you older than 50), where the Reindeer with the Regal Rack was chomping on the grass.

Your reporter awoke during the hiking time to search out the tea selection. Three people were there to receive the help and attention of the eight people assigned to the tea room. Silversea has a different philosophy when it comes to tea or coffee. You will not find a self-serve coffee or tea pot anywhere on the ship. This adds greatly to the elegance of tea service; but it a distinct hindrance when the entire ship's company is jolted out of slumber at 9:30 for a MANDATORY briefing on the 'thou shalt nots' of AEPA expedition travel. In true expedition style, our briefing was interrupted by humpback and fin whale sightings. We are awaiting the other briefing from our tiara-Toting leader organization, PACE (Princesses Are Correct Everytime), to learn the dos and the dont's of luxury travel.

Upon resuming our briefing, we received a warning straight from the bridge. Our Expedition leader warned we may not make so much noise if a polar bear decides to show his/her flukes in front of the ship. Our collective oohing and ahhing over the whales had far exceeded the prohibited earshot emission for polarbears (PEEP) standard. In other words, the Captain doesn't want to hear a PEEP out of us again.

Lest those of you from the Hanseatic Antarctica tour think you continue to hold the Mud Room Mudslinging Trophy, let me assure you .. you do! The Germanic contingent is small or non-existent on this cruise. The only slight nod to Germanic gymnastics was when Fritz tried to sell Gary on wearing multiple pairs of socks to accommodate oversized gum boots. Kevlar Kohler (a Swiss-German by ancestry) swung that idea aside, sending Fritz flurrying for fitter footwear. Das ist richtict!

Prince Albert II is not a ship for fools. It bears an ever so slight resemblance to the Sarah Winchester home in California, with its staircases to no where, luxurious history and appointments, and its unexpected dead ends. Navigating the ship takes a few tries .. and breadcrumbs to retrace your steps in the early going. Cabin amenities and luxuries are enough to make the ICE B deckers swoon with joy. No self-sticking shower curtains here.

We enjoyed our favorite Sauvignon Blanc, Dashwood of New Zealand, over chicken and chili salad at lunch. Bear Island (locally known as Bjornoyo, so named by the unnamed Italian explorer who first saw the Island at daylight) came into view. Two of the zodiac groups are now out on tour, with our group assigned to the 1630 slot.

POOCH is underway and a new lecture due to start momentarily. More to follow .. but not sure when.